I love All American’s Reject’s Dirty Little Secret, It’s like an anthem for therapy. Sharing, what you feel is a dirty little secret. It’s not really dirty. It’s the shame and guilt that we have built up in our minds that makes it’s dirty. These secrets become weights that we carry around, like a nooses or unnecessary baggage. They can be exhausting and draining. All the time spent burying them and hiding from them. The idea of these secrets being exposed is terrifying. The fear of judgment paralyzing. So, we drag these secrets around, stuff them under the bed, in our closets, bury them in the backyard. Hoping and praying that no one will discover them. Because at the root of it we are afraid if someone discovers our secrets they won’t love us. We will be all alone, unlovable. Because as humans that what we seek, at the core, connection and love.
So, what do you do with these secrets? You use them of course. Unburying your secrets can be powerful and healing. Get to the bottom of those secrets, there are lessons to be learned. Gold to discover.
How do you unbury those secrets you’ve spent most your life hiding from?
1. Journal about them. Tell their story. Then rewrite the story from a positive perspective.
2. Talk. Not to just anyone. Someone trusted who you feel safe with, like a therapist.
3. Thank them. Our secrets offer us insight into ourselves, they can heal our wounds if we are willing to explore them.
If fear is stopping you from releasing your secrets, talk to therapist or someone whom you trust, even if it's a journal. Let them out so you can breathe.
Want to ease into exploring your secrets and the fears surrounding them, check out Post Secret, a community where people send postcards in with their secrets. They even have an app for Ipad and Iphone. Maybe even submit your own postcard.
How do feel when the subject of secrets come up? Do you fear your secrets? Are they holding you prisoner? How do you deal with them? I would love to hear from you!