With the holidays fast approaching, self care it vital!

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

 – Buddha

To you give until you feel exhausted? To put everyone else first? Do you feel tired and drained? Long for a vacation but will settle for a day with no responsibilities? Then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your commitment to yourself.  Do you take time for you? Have a self-care ritual? Do you put yourself first by loving you?

STOP take a moment.  What does love look like to you? Is it pain and hurt? Is it peace and happiness? If it’s pain, hurt and other difficult emotions, what do you want love to look like? More like peace and happiness? Take time to reflect on how love feels and how you want love to feel.  It’s okay if your first definition of love is based on an old script.  We often base our notions of love from when we were children.  Some of us, did not have the best childhoods, so our definition of love can be skewed because we experienced love as not something pleasant but something painful and scary.  Now, is your time to take back your definition of love.  Regardless of where your first experiences of love came from, good or bad.  This is your time to define love how you want to define it.  This is love your way.  NOW. Take this new definition of self-love with you and apply it to yourself care ritual.

Self-love is loving yourself unconditionally.  Being your biggest supporter and alley. Putting yourself first.

Self-care is acts of love to nurture and honor yourself, your soul, as well as, to replenish and rejuvenate yourself.

I am a huge component of self-love and self-care.  I advocate for it all the time.  Because taking care of you is the most important thing you can do for yourself.  Because if you aren’t your best you can’t help others be their best.  If you aren’t taking care of you, your quality of life suffers.  I truly believe everyone is meant to and deserves to live life to their fullest potential, sharing their beauty and gifts with the world.  You can’t do this if your definition of love is based off an old script or you don’t care for yourself.  And self-care is not selfishness.  This word has gotten a bad rap.  I have a beautiful friend who uses the word selfish for self-care because she is putting herself first.  Selfish and greed and not caring are not synonymous. You deserve to be selfish when it comes to your livelihood.

I want you to really truly love yourself and care for yourself. Not just go through the motions.  I hear it all the time, “I got a massage this week.  I got my nails done. I went to the gym. I ate healthy.” I get it, you try.  You really do.  And these are all wonderful ways to take care of yourself. However, they can reach a deeper level.  When you look at the intention behind the massage, the nails, the gym, eating healthy.  Is it because you are told that to feel good you need self-care? Many of us, just go through the motions and then wonder why our self-care isn’t working.  Because self-care is the art of loving yourself.  Meeting yourself where you are and giving yourself what you need, by honoring yourself. When you are cold you don’t go outside and stand in the snow, no, you get a warm blanket or put on a sweater.  That is what self-care is all about.

Keys to self-care:

1.     Intention: What is the purpose of yourself care.  What service is it providing you?  Self-care is a tool to nurture your soul.  To connect to you.  To honor and love you.  What do you need today? Start here.  The intention for self-care is to give you what you need moment by moment.

2.     Permission: Give yourself permission to give yourself what you need.  To ask for what you need.  You matter.  And deserve to feel fabulous.

3.     Honoring: Honor yourself and what you need.  Don’t down play it or second guess it.  How often have you needed a nap and instead pushed through feeling exhausted and taken advantage of?  Take your nap, you’ll feel better and perform better.

4.     Ritual: Create a ritual around self-care.  Make it a habit. Check in with yourself daily.  What do you need today?  How can you honor you today? How can you make yourself care a sacred ritual that honors and fulfills you on a soul level?

Remember self-care is the act of self-love.  You deserve your love more than anyone else!  When you love you, life gets better. 

What is your favorite self-care rituals?  If you are struggling with self-love or care, please contact me, I’d love to help.