You have to start by treating yourself the way you want to be treated. No more talking down to yourself. No more comparing yourself to others. No more tying to be someone else. You’ve got to love you with everything you have and then more. Start asking yourself, “would I treat my boyfriend, best friend, mother, most trusted beloved friend like this?” If the answer is no, than don’t do it to yourself. Treat yourself like you are in love with you.
To start tell yourself, every morning upon waking, "I love you!" When looking in the mirror, say, "I love you!" It may feel weird at first, but we are working on being the healthiest you so you can be a healthy relationship.
One step deeper: When you are upset, remind yourself that you love you. Matt Kahn is the king of "I love you." Look to him for inspiration. He talks about loving whatever comes up. Anger, love it. Jealousy, love it.
When you love and accept yourself, it's easier to love and accept others. And you deserve your love!
Note: part of this blog post was featured on Love Magazine.